“…fool me once, shame on me…fool me twice…I deserved to get fucked over.”
― Derekica Snake
As the time ticks away, I become more and more accepting of what has happened. Acceptance however, doesn’t mean I’m embracing it. I still feel as though I’m watching some family drama on tv and this is really not happening to us.
These last couple of weeks I’ve had a couple of realizations. The first one is who my real friends are. Only three people in my day to day life know where my daughter is. The rest don’t really ask ‘where’ my daughter is, they ask how she is, I say she’s doing well and we move on. But those friends. Oh boy.
I had dinner with one of these friends who I consider a true friend mind you (for reference let’s say: L, Y and C- C found out during a weak moment knowing full well she’s the town’s most negative and gossipy person in the town). L then informed me that one of the women in this trio had taken it upon herself, despite my requests to keep it private, to want to openly discuss my situation with others. Not only this, but she proceeded to also pass judgment: “How could I send my child away?”, “No self-respecting parent would send her kid off to be handled by someone else, if you can’t discipline your child, you’re doing something wrong,” “She’s got a boyfriend now, I’m sure she sent her away so she could have time alone-she’s so selfish!” That one was the tip of the proverbial iceberg. I immediately knew who the source was because I’d caught her before repeating information she shouldn’t have been, but trying not to jump to conclusions I was going to reach out to both.
I proceeded to send a text to Y and C because L would not tell me who said this and knowing my options were only two- I sent the same text to both:
“I heard through the grapevine that someone is saying I sent my daughter away selifshly and to be with my significant other. Have you heard this or is this your sentiment about this? Because it would be the shittiest judgment anyone can pass on someone else, ever.”
Then apparently C was struggling with our decision because my daughter and I were always so sweet together, and she’s trying to wrap her mind and how to deal with HER struggle around my family’s issue which is why she was talking about it.
Slap my ass and turn me upside down!
This woman has been my ‘friend’ for about 8 years, spent maybe a total of MAYBE 5 days clumped together with my daughter- over the 8 years. The days she’s been sick she hasn’t brought her a bowl of soup, or anything (not that it was needed, but) And SHE is struggling with this and feels the need to ask for support? I was truly blown away but I learned some things.
I learned that some people call themselves friends for convenience. But truly most are fairweather people who want to be around during the tough times just so they can get the dirt on you. So now she earned the Heisman Award of friendship:
Which also stands for, back the hell off of me. You are not outside of the circle!
Peace and love